She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
