you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
