So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
