We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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