I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just cropdusted the office
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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