well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
