Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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