Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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