I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
