What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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