Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
