so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think pants incapable of making pants work
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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