Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
