Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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