You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
