these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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