windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
