I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
