just tell him i said nine months
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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