All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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