My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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