You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
