Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
