VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You ruined the universe
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
