help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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