Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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