Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
