Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
