where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You've changed since you got that strap on
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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