tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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