No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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