Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize