I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
