she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Who died my cat blue again?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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