actually, I'm a sock model
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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