bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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