i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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