He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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