He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
