I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home