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• (650): View more from California

  I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket

  Fav 11 4104 944

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.

  (1-817): View more from Texas

  It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.

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• (954): View more from Florida

  Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand

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