i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night