For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??