I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
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I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand