she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
