i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
