I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is Oprah even human
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
