It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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