Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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