i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize