I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
