Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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