god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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