Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
