Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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