Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
