We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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