Your tits are I can't wait for
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
