i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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