I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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