that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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