his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Holy shit dude........stairs
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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