It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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