he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
