The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
