I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
