READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
