people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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